The Winds & Sands of Time

Welcome to my self-indulgent homepage.

You've Found The First Site on the Web
that's not The First Site of Its Kind on the Web!

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INFORMATION, DISCLAIMERS, & LICENSING AGREEMENT

Before you enter the Winds & Sands of Time, please read the following information carefully. It is of vital importance -- failing to read this may void your warrantee!

My Promises to You, the Visitor:

• You will not find the word "cool" used on this site.
• You will not find spurious allusions to surfing on this site.
• You will not find the word "cyber" used on this site without reasonable justification.
• You will not find any visitor counters on any of my pages.
• You will not find any links on this site to Yahoo, Lycos, Netscape, Alta Vista, Microsoft, Penthouse, or any other place that you have already visited countless times.
• You will not find corporate logos spattered about, nor worn like merit badges.

Disclaimers:

• This site was designed using Netscape 2.0x specific tags. I've received enough complains that I've tried to remedy the situation... but the frameless version is somewhat lacking. Sorry!
• This site contains no useful information.
• This site has lots of graphics, many of which are NOT optimized to reduce bandwidth.
• This site has lots of loud backgrounds that make it hard to read the text, ala Wired Magazine (or worse).
• This site may contain material considered offensive to some viewers. Discretion is advised. By entering this site, you are agreeing that:
  1. You are an adult of twenty-one years of age or visiting with permission of a parent or guardian.
  2. You are responsible for your own actions.
  3. This site is provided "as is" without warrantee of any kind, either express or implied. The entire risk as to the quality and performance of the site is with the user. In the event of any damages, anticipated or otherwise, you agree to hold harmless the creator of this site, the service provider hosting this site, any and all of contractors or subcontractors thereto, the employers and employees of the aforementioned entities and/or contactors or subcontractors thereto, financial backers and/or employers of said individuals, the telephone company, William Jefferson Clinton, or the inmates of the Sunnyside Asylum. In no event will any of the aforementioned entities be liable to you for any consequential or incidental damages, including any lost profits or lost savings, or any claim by any party, even if said parties have notified anyone whatsoever of the possibility of such damages in any way, shape, form, or manifestation, on this or any other plane of existence, in this or any other timespace continuum, regardless of the quality or lack thereof of the vacuum, luminiferous ether, ethernet, or those funny little ten-base-T connectors that you always find sitting around in offices by the workstations. YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU HAVE READ THIS AGREEMENT, UNDERSTAND IT, AND THAT IT IS THE COMPLETE AND EXCLUSIVE STATEMENT OF YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE AFOREMENTIONED PARTIES WHICH SUPERSEDES ANY PRIOR AGREEMENT, ORAL OR WRITTEN, AND ANY OTHER COMMUNICATIONS BETWEEN SAID PARTIES AND YOU RELATING TO THE SUBJECT MATTER OF THIS AGREEMENT, AND THAT YOUR OBLIGATIONS UNDER THIS AGREEMENT SHALL INURE TO THE BENEFIT OF SAID PARTIES LICENSORS WHOSE RIGHTS ARE LICENSED UNDER THIS AGREEMENT. NO VARIATION OF THE TERMS OF THIS AGREEMENT WILL BE ENFORCEABLE UNLESS EXPRESS CONSENT HAS BEEN OBTAINED IN WRITING, SIGNED BY AN AFOREMENTIONED PARTY AND SUMMARILY NOTARIZED BY GOD OR THE PROPHET ISAIAH.

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