I have to admit, this latest presidential election has me perplexed¹. Why is there even a contest? The Democrats love Obama, and the Republicans should too. After all, the Obama administration is the apotheosis of traditional supply-side GOP ideals — a Republican wet dream. “Wait. What?” I hear you say. Turn off the partisan filters for a moment, and consider the following facts:

• Corporate profits are at an all-time high.²
• CEO salaries are the highest ever.³
• Wall Street salaries are close to the highest they’ve ever been.⁴
• The Stock Market is within a few percent of its all-time high.⁵
• Interest rates are the lowest on record.⁶
• Corporate Taxes are at the lowest effective rate ever (recording begun in 1947).⁷
• Tax rate for highest earners is the lowest it’s been since 1931.⁸
• The US Defense budget is at an all-time high.⁹
• There are more deportations of illegal immigrants than ever.¹⁰
• More terrorists / enemy militants killed per year than ever before¹¹

So, given this list, why is the current administration so hated by the American Right and so loved by the American Left? We have, in essence, a pitched battle between two symbols, which we choose to take at face value. Never mind that the actuality is nothing like what it says on the label¹².

¹ OK, not really. But the phrase works better, rhetorically. This entire posting should be considered in that light.

²“Corporate Profits Just Hit An All-Time High, Wages Just Hit An All-Time Low”, Business Insider Magazine, 22 June 2012.
US Department of Commerce, Bureau of Economic Analysis.

³“Historical Trends in Executive Compensation” (PDF), 1936-2003, Carola Frydman and Raven E. Saks, November 15, 2005.
“C.E.O. Pay Is Rising Despite the Din,” NY Times, 16 June 2012.
United States Bureau of Labor Statistics, Occupational Employment Statistics survey for 2001-2010.

⁴“Wall Street Pay: A Record $144 Billion, Financial Overhaul Has Affected Structure but Not Level; Revenue-to-Compensation Ratio Stays Flat”, Wall Street Journal, October 11, 2010.
“The Giant Pay Gap Between Wall Street And Everyone Else Isn’t Going Anywhere”, Business Insider Magazine, October 10, 2012.

⁵The Dow Jones Industrial Average was 13,494.6 on 3 Oct 2012, the all time high was 14,164.53, so it’s only 4.8% down from the highest it’s ever been. The S&P 500 was 1,450.99 on 3 Oct 2012, the all time high was 1,576.09, so that’s a bigger gap, but it’s still only 8% down from the all-time high.

⁶“Mortgage rates now below even lows of early 1950s”, Associated Press, 30 Sept 2011.
National Bureau of Economic Research, Macrohistory: Interest Rates.

⁷St. Louis Federal Reserve Bank, FRED® Economic Data, “Graph: Federal Government: Tax Receipts on Corporate Income (FCTAX)/(Corporate Profits After Tax (CP)+Federal Government: Tax Receipts on Corporate Income (FCTAX))”

⁸Historical Top Tax Rate, Tax Policy Center of the Urban Institute and Brookings Institution.

⁹Government Printing Office, Budgets
US Census Bureau historical records

¹⁰“President’s Approval Rating Drops, but He Leads 2012 Rivals. As Deportations Rise to Record Levels, Most Latinos Oppose Obama’s Policy” PEW research, 28 Dec 2011.
Numbers may have been inflated by changes in how they’re counted; even so, deportations are still higher than Bush numbers. “Deportation statistics said to be inflated”, Washington Times, 23 August 2012

¹¹“The Year of the Drone. An Analysis of U.S. Drone Strikes in Pakistan, 2004-2012” New America Foundation

¹²And just so you don’t think I’m picking on the Democrats alone, I only point out the one side as it’d take a whole additional posting to show that the Republicans are the “spend and borrow” party, etc.

At last, a cure may be available for this terrible disease. Expect to see this ad in print magazines everywhere.

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Printable size available. Inquire within.

I think it’s a sad, sad sign of the times that most Linux distros not only omit figlet from their standard installations, but often don’t even offer it in their package managers.

       _           _                   _                      _ 
  __ _| | __ _ ___| |   __ _ _ __   __| | __      _____   ___| |
 / _` | |/ _` / __| |  / _` | '_ \ / _` | \ \ /\ / / _ \ / _ \ |
| (_| | | (_| \__ \_| | (_| | | | | (_| |  \ V  V / (_) |  __/_|
 \__,_|_|\__,_|___(_)  \__,_|_| |_|\__,_|   \_/\_/ \___/ \___(_)

After watching a QI Episode where they briefly mention the pronunciation of Featherstonehaugh, I just had to dive in and read this page.

This blog, such as it is, operates upon the deeper philosophical principles of revealing only that mystical knowledge which is meet for the human mind. For within the awesome grandeur of the vast and forbidden extents of the universe, humanity is but writ small, and mere glimpses of these greater vistas could surely drive us into irredeemable madness. Yet horrible knowledge may be revealed in accidental circumstances, giving unfortunate philosophers a tiny seed of terrifying understanding which then inflames their feverish dreams, growing into frightful guesses and half-apprehension so hideous that it freezes the blood in their veins and robs them of all peace. Such philosophers, maddened by their dread, flee from the deadly conception and seek solace in the silent ocean of death rather than sharing their terror with minds unable to withstand the loathsome implications.

Regrettably, one philosopher’s torment and anguish led him to end his own life before destroying his notebooks. Alas! For then, through banal circumstances not worthy of mention, these notebooks found their way into my possession in the winter of 2010-2011. On one cursed day, I was going over the papers, wherein were puzzling jottings and disjointed ramblings, when I found the most peculiar formula, which will haunt me to the very end of my days:

Miskatonic Gin & Chthonic
4 to 5 Ice Cubes
3.5 ounces gin
4 ounces tonic water
0.5 ounces squid ink
1 small thousand-year-old pearl onion, wrested from the accursed soil at Cthulhu’s house at R’lyeh (or optionally a twist of lime)

Place the ice into a tall, narrow glass which is chilled with the eldritch horror of Yog-Sothoth’s malign suggestiveness (the cubes should fill the glass). Add gin, then the tonic water, then the squid ink. Stir well. Garnish with the onion (or lime), and serve before the aeons of blank horror drive you to madness.